How to be Confident (Tween Edition!)

It's probably funny I'm attempting to cover this topic...considering I actually don't know how to be confident; if there's a magic recipe for confidence, I haven't found it! But I do have a few tips I've picked up--mostly as a result of trial and error--and, since I recently mentioned shopping when you feel confident, I've decided to share a few of these tips before uploading How to Shop (part 2).

How to be Confident Tip #1

Grab a sheet of poster paper and some markers. Fill the page with positive descriptions of yourself (i.e. funny, smart, good at math, artist). Hang this poster next to your bedroom mirror.

When I turned 20, my mom made a page of 20 reasons she was thankful for me and I kept it in my homework binder for the entire year (did you know we have homework in college??). It made me happy to read through all of them--and a little embarrassed because I wasn't used to so many nice things being said about me all at once! Find a page of paper that will fit in your school binder and ask your mom to write down your age-worth of positive descriptions she has for you. Ask your best friend to do the same!

How to be Confident Tip #2

Learn to power walk. It's simple but might feel weird at first. Start by just standing, feet shoulder width apart, all toes pointing in the same direction (facing something that makes you happy--favorite celebrity poster?) and wildly shake your arms out before dropping them at your side. Stand up as tall as you can. Imagine you're trying to touch your head to the ceiling (don’t stand on your tippy toes!). Put both hands gently on your hips. Now say out loud, “I’m pretty cool.”

Awesome; you're halfway there! Imagine somewhere you want to go and look at it. Not just the other side of the room, find a spot on the wall over there. You’re going to walk there, looking straight at it the entire time. As soon as you start walking, you’re going to drop your hands back at your side and swing them a little as you walk. Remember: head trying to touch the ceiling.

Practice a few times. You'll reach a point where you are comfortable looking around as you walk (enjoying the scenery, waving at friends). When you stop, always have at least one foot pointing in the direction where you are looking. When talking to someone, try to point both toes at them (unless you don't like them, then it is perfectly acceptable to point one toe in the direction of the door). Skill mastered.

How to be Confident Tip #3

Spend time in a happy place. If being outside makes you feel happy, try doing your homework in the backyard or finding time to explore the nearby stream with a friend. If you want to spend time with animals but don't have furry friends at home, maybe an elderly friend of your grandma’s needs her dog walked!

How to be Confident Tip #4

Stop saying negative things. Yeah, I'm talking to you, girl. All those mean things you say/think to yourself: cut them out. They aren't fixing anything or offering helpful advice, so try going three days without thinking anything negative about yourself and see how you feel.

While you're at it, stop saying/thinking negative things about other girls your age. These other young women are like time period sisters, they're part of your generation and are going through most of the same life experiences and changes you are--even the mean ones. They deserve respect as fellow tweens, but they're also just not worth the energy it takes to say something negative.

Learning how to be confident is a process and you won't ace it overnight. I've been working with the above tips for years, and there are a lot of days when I'd much rather pretend I'm a turtle than stand up straight. (Being a turtle would be fun…) And these are just four of probably several hundred ways to practice being confident!

What are some confidence tips you'd like to share? Comment below and I'll see you soon! Bye! ❤

Jewelry is Personal 💍

Yes, jewelry is personal! My journey through jewelry started when I was really little. Most of it was inexpensive vintage pieces passed on from grandparents--this was before knowing I look terrible in gold, and definitely before I cared. My style progressed to printed wristbands, beads, and sparkly, pastel butterfly earrings as a tween, and those items were so on trend at the time! Then in high school, of course, I did the goth phase. But no one ever told me that jewelry is personal.

Looking back, I know I was trying really hard to have a particular style--one that mimicked the tweens in fashion catalogs--rather than just experimenting. Even when I transitioned from lockets to chunky beads, I always thought it had to be one or the other, I could never mix gold metal with bright plastic. So here's a fun fact: just like clothing, you can also layer jewelry like crazy! Worst case scenario, you look silly in a photo and it's a fun story later on! Style is about you, what you like, what you feel comfortable and confident in, and no one is ever born knowing what that is.

Here are some of my favorite tips for finding your personal style...

If you have a hobby or passion, try charm bracelets. They start as a basic chain and clasp (toggle clasps are much less likely to break than lobster claws), and you can collect charms that attach to the chain. You could have a charm bracelet entirely devoted to animals and another charm bracelet entirely devoted to soccer, or you can have one bracelet that displays everything you love. This kind of jewelry is personal for sure! Careful though, charm collection can get expensive.

If you're interested in knowing whether gold or silver is more complementary, stand outside in the sun and look at the veins on the underside of your wrist. If they look blue, you probably have a cool skin tone and will glow in silver. If your veins look green, that indicates a warm skin tone--you can rock gold! And don't forget about rose gold, green gold, and bronze! If you're into metals there're a lot to try and most of them will tarnish to a new color over time, so unless your personal style is cool-toned metals only, there's no reason to not mix them!

Another way jewelry is personal is that the best sizes, shapes, and lengths depend on your build.

• Very thin jewelry on an athletic build can look out of place, while large, chunky jewelry, if you're petite, can look clunky.
  
  
• Long and Y-shaped necklaces can be very slimming (and make you look taller!), but they also catch on things (I may have closed one in a kitchen drawer once).
  
  
• If you feel like rings make your fingers look short, it's because straight lines widen. Try an S-shaped ring.
  
  
• Long, dangly earrings are very glamorous on round faces, large hoop earrings look amazing on diamond-shaped faces, and long, diamond-shaped earrings look fabulous on square faces.

I have a friend who collects jewelry with turquoise beads and stones--which, BTW, look stunning with wardrobe base colors (black, white, gray, navy). Personally, I'm obsessed with white crystal studding, but some of my favorite pieces don't fit this description. Also, I can't count how many of my friends never wear jewelry but still look pretty cool (even not wearing jewelry is personal)!

Style is how you tell the world who you are and what you like without ever saying anything. When I say "jewelry is personal," I mean that it's up to you. Just you. Yes, you can most definitely draw on inspiration from your friends and favorite pop stars, but how you choose to wear an item and what you choose to wear or not wear with it, that's style.

See you next week!

Thank you note from me!

Hi, everyone!

It's been a really crazy week so far--and it's only Monday!!--so I've decided to take a minute and thank everyone on this blog. Thank you for reading this blog! Thank you for the emails you've sent, questions you've asked, and any comments you've left. Thank you so much! It means a lot to me that there are girls out there who are finding this blog and actually enjoying the content enough to come back every week. That is crazy awesome! I want to hug all of you right now!

Also, thank you so much to all of the super cool people who have volunteered to be models for this blog. Do you all see yourselves?! You look amazing! And this blog looks amazing...because of you.

And finally, to everyone who reads through these posts before they go public and shares feedback on them. What would I do without you?

I hope everyone had an absolutely fun-filled and fabulous Memorial Day weekend. I'll see all of you again on Sunday for the last post before summer! *hugs and more hugs!*

How to Shop (Part 1)

I learned how to shop mostly by watching other people--my mom, friends, Sandra Bullock's advice in a random movie: "if you don't love it in the store, you won't wear it."--and through a lot of trial and error. And I'm still learning how to shop! It's torturous--as in, being pinched over and over again by someone with long fingernails torturous--especially if you're shopping for an item like jeans or a dress and you're between sizes. But it's not all bad! In fact, once you figure out how to shop (or at least, better ways to shop), it's actually a lot of fun!

So, how to shop? Let's start at home. Back in my fashion show days (that makes me sound much older than I actually am), I would tell the show's models to arrive at the store for Shopping Day comfortably dressed in clothes you can easily change into/out of. It's tempting to show up decked out in hairspray, hoop earrings, and lace-up boots, but it's a nightmare! You lose so much time unlacing your boots to try on a pair of shorts and then relacing them to go look for the same shorts in a smaller size.

Think comfy (t-shirt, pants, slip-on shoes, wrist scrunchi, crossbody purse to keep your hands free and hold your sunglasses while you try on shirts. Camisoles are super because you can try some items on over the top. Also, if you plan to try on any shirts, wear shorts under dresses.) but DON'T leave frumpy. I noticed even as a middle-schooler that store staff can be rude and condescending, but sometimes dressing nicely can make a positive impact. And you'll be a much more confident shopper knowing you look like a total boss. That makes a big difference! I always try to remember that some of the staff I'll meet haven't had a good day, so I try to be very polite (smile, say, "Hi," make eye contact when entering the boutique/department). That's much easier when I'm not in baggy sweats and a camp t-shirt.

DON'T go shopping unless you know what you want. "I need new clothes" translates to "I have no idea what I want, so I'm going to unintentionally buy a lot of things I don't need, then have to go shopping again next week because I still need new clothes," That was my entire tweenhood. *tears*

Instead, make a list of things that will make your wardrobe awesome--the more detailed the better!

• lightweight jeans in a pale color that won't be too hot for summer
• plain t-shirt long enough I can lift my arms without baring my abdomen
• two tank tops for layering
• hoodie for the beach
• cute earrings for the beach

DON'T go shopping if you or the person you're shopping with is hungry, tired, or feeling sick. Talk your mom and fashion sister into sitting down and eating beforehand, or rescheduling the shopping trip for later. And always bring water with you to stay hydrated.

Plan your shopping trip for a weekend, day off, or evening when you have plenty of time to take your time.

Know your seasonal skin tone, the color beneath your skin color. Knowing what hue of red I look best in has saved me from buying dresses I'll never feel confident in, even though the color looked pretty in the store's lighting. Lots of websites and blogs talk about this, so I'll redirect you to one here. Once you find your season, just Google for color pallet images. Don't get too caught up in whether you're a soft summer or a cool summer: you're a summer (like me!), you can wear summer colors. Besides, you--and your fashion sister--know what you like and, together, will figure out what looks best.

--Side story: I once read a book where the author said summers absolutely cannot wear any black, but black comes in more than a handful of different tones, and I know without any doubt I can rock the blueish one. So don't take advice from rule-crazy fashion people too seriously.--

Wow, that's weird; this post is supposed to be about how to shop, but all we've covered is how to get ready to go shopping! That's because this is only how to shop part one. That's right! Learning how to shop is going to take more than one post, so stay tuned for part two!

Layer Like Crazy

Ever had one of those days when you're shivering like crazy waiting for the bus, but then dying of heat stroke five minutes into afternoon recess? Yeah, welcome to springtime! Lucky for you, I've got a solution: layer like crazy!!

Imagine this: it's pouring rain while you wait for the bus, but you're wearing your waterproof shoes and a warm raincoat over a comfy flannel top. Sun comes out, coat comes off, you're all set until after school at the farmers market with your mom--it's like the dead of August suddenly! But you don't mind; underneath your flannel button-up, you're wearing a sleeveless polo. That's how you layer like crazy.

Now imagine this: it's the night before, you're planning to layer like crazy, but if you bring a winter coat and it's 80 degrees in the morning, your first layer is gone before you even leave home.

If you're a techy tween with a smartphone, I'd suggest a weather shortcut on your home screen so you remember to check it the night before (I use Google's frog page because it's adorable and has lots of info). If you're not someone who lives online, often the weather forecast is in the daily paper your parents read. Look especially for signs of rain or wind (jacket!) and compare today's temperature to tomorrow's predicted (example: it was 50° today and you were burning up; for 55° tomorrow try the same top layer you wore today, but a cooler bottom layer you can dress down to).

I always try to bring a jacket with me, but I make sure the material is weather appropriate. Denim might break the wind better than fleece, but fleece is warm! Faux leather is fun when it will probably stay chilly all day, while cotton is perfect for those "just kind of cool" mornings. While it's difficult to layer jackets (at some point the sleeves bunch and you can't bend your elbow), you can zip a puffer vest over almost anything!

--I know I've been talking a lot about mornings, but don't forget to also layer like crazy in the evenings (this style hack will last you all the way into summer's mosquito nights).--

You've probably noticed by now the average temperature outside slowly climbing higher and higher (because summer is coming!!), so layers don't have to be heavy to be efficient. Sometimes a mesh long-sleeve over a tank top with a light-weight, sleeveless duster and denim shorts is sufficient--and super trendy!

Throughout this entire process, remember: you're a tween, you are entitled to experiment! Try layering patterns with stripes, or plaids with tiny prints--a solid color in between can keep the look controlled while also adding a layer!

Are you ready for one more super awesome part about being a tween..?

Waist belts! They can be stretchy belts, ribbon, or a cute, braided rope. You will be able to wear waist belts for the rest of your life, so try them out! They're perfect for cinching in loose-fitted dresses, tops, coats, dusters, and--of course!--bulky layers. I like to belt the smallest part of my waist (right over my navel), but I've found if I move the belt to about mid-ribcage I look taller.

And that's it! Now that I've told you everything I know about how to layer like crazy, it's time to go out and layer like crazy! Let other readers know your favorite layering tips in the comments below.

See you next week!

Tween Shoes for Success

Your shoes should never hold you back!

I've got some really sad news and I'm not sure how to break it. This might be one of the last few years of cute, sparkly, brightly colored, and bedazzled shoes being readily available in your size. I don't understand it either, it's like shoe manufacturers don't think teenagers or adults can have fun, which is especially heartbreaking if, like I was, you're a foot-size bigger than other tweens.

My advice: wear those shoes! Don't worry about whether they'll match everything in your closet. One of my biggest regrets is not wearing glittery, hot pink sneakers when I had the chance. That, and wearing shoes that were uncomfortable. That's why I think the concept of shoes for success is brilliantly awesome. We wear shoes almost everywhere, they should never hold us back, never stop us from our goals, and especially never keep us from having fun.

Here are some tricks for making sure you're wearing shoes for success:

• Shoe sizes vary from brand to brand, so don't hesitate to go up or down a few sizes until you find a comfortable fit.
  
  
• You'll notice that shoes (like feet!) come in a variety of shapes: narrow, wide, round toed, different round toe. Before shopping, trace an outline of your foot on paper. You want to find a shoe whose sole is as close to that shape as possible.
  
  
• Stand up. Your big toe or second toe (whichever is longest) shouldn't touch the end of the shoe. There should actually be enough room for you to squeeze a finger between that toe and the end of the shoe (since you can't actually put your finger there, you'll need to guess a little).
  
  
• If you look at the bottom of your foot, you'll notice the widest part of it looks like several circles mashed together. This area is the "ball of your foot;" it should fit comfortably in the shoe's widest part, bonus shoes for success points if the shoe has extra padding here!
  
  
• Fun fact, most people have one foot that is larger than the other! Make sure you try on both shoes. It's better for a shoe to be a little too big on one foot than too small on the other.
  
  
• Another fun fact: feet are bigger at the end of the day than in the mornings, mostly because gravity causes feet to swell throughout the day (they shrink again after a night of horizontal sleeping). Many celebrities attend red-carpet events in high heels that are too big, so after a night of standing and foot swelling, their shoes aren't uncomfortable. Celebrities are a little extreme, but if you're going shoes for success shopping, go after school or in the evenings.
  
  
• Don't buy tight shoes, hoping they'll stretch out. Don't buy shoes that are too big planning to "grow into them." It's bad for your foot and you'll feel clumsy wearing them. Buy shoes in your size, if you outgrow them, that's okay! Treat them well and someone else can have them when they stop fitting.
  
  
• Get active! You'll be living in these shoes: walk laps around the store, jump rope, bust a move, climb steps--if they're church shoes, take a knee! Make sure your heel isn't sliding around, sandal straps aren't rubbing uncomfortably, and the back of the shoe isn't biting into your achilles. Don't be shy about it! You are young and vibrant, if anyone's bothered by dancing in the shoe aisle, shame on them, they don't know skill when they see it. Keep dancing!
  
  
• Lastly, don't ever sacrifice comfort for fashion. You don't just need shoes for success, you need shoes that make you feel unstoppable.

If you're looking for fun ways to show off or highlight your shoes, try wearing them with a similarly colored belt or purse! I once found sunglasses with the same glittery zebra print as my tennis shoes...though I don't think anyone else noticed. *SMH*

And in case you are also one of those awesome people who enjoy browsing photos of shoes, here's a quick sampling of fabulous, tween-approved shoes for success.

Happy Sunday!

Tween Handbags and Purses

Now that we've covered the spring shell wardrobe, let's talk about tween handbags and purses. One of the first things I noticed as a tween, slowly graduating from kids to juniors clothing, is that jacket pockets began to shrink and some jean pockets were façades! Sadly, nothing's really changed, leaving all of us with a necessity for portable pockets. But don't worry! It's not all bad, in fact, having a purse can actually be both practical and glamorous--a mini suitcase that's also a statement piece!

If you are new to the tween handbags and purses scene you're about to encounter three common problems:

1) Boring adult purses

2) Handbags constantly slipping off the shoulder

3) Low quality.

Let's address quality first! Unless you plan on only owning one, you don't need a $100 or even $30 purse. You're still experimenting with styles! But you don't want to buy one so cheaply made that it breaks on the first day! Here are a few things to consider when purchasing tween handbags and purses:

When buying a large handbag (perfect for carrying a water bottle or mini umbrella), check for studs on the bottom, they prevent the bag from getting scuffed on surfaces--scuffing that often leads to torn corners. An equally common problem with large handbags is lining that's not tacked in. This can lead to items getting lost at the bottom of your bag.

A super common problem with not only tween handbags and purses, but all purses (even expensive ones) are straps that break. You can limit the likelihood of this by not overstuffing your bag (that's a lot of weight on those seams!), and getting a bag with a wide shoulder strap should also reduce breakage as the weight is then a little more evenly distributed. Speaking of shoulder straps, that leads us to problem two!

Purses usually fit into three categories: crossbody, handbag, clutch. If you're having trouble with straps slipping off your shoulder, crossbody purses are a solution, but it's hard to find a crossbody large enough to hold both of the books you brought to read in the waiting room. Look for a handbag (aka "shoulder bag") with a strap/straps of a material like synthetic/faux leather (much less slippery than shiny plastic).

 

Wait! What about clutches? Often these treasures have a very thin, attachable strap, but clutches are really meant to be held and they're sized for only essential items (phone, $5-$7, lip balm, mini pen, hair glitter touch-up, and other emergency products). Clutches are beautiful accessories for formal dinners, theater, and ballets, but for costume balls, quinceñaras, and weddings, don't bring anything too valuable as you will probably leave it unattended while you dance.

Now about those boring adult purses! The trick is knowing where to shop. Most of the tween handbags and purses photographed are from Charming Charlie, which offers a lot of glittery options--and penny-pinching sales! You'll find colorful purses at Claire's, but not many handbags. If you're interested in novelty styles, Think Geek, while expensive, is a lot of fun. And probably the best store for shopping tween handbags? Justice! They have a wide variety of styles--and no boring adult purses!

I would love to know about your experiences with tween handbags and purses! What other problems do you encounter a lot--and what are some horror stories you've had as a result?? Leave a comment below!

See you next week!