It's probably funny I'm attempting to cover this topic...considering I actually don't know how to be confident; if there's a magic recipe for confidence, I haven't found it! But I do have a few tips I've picked up--mostly as a result of trial and error--and, since I recently mentioned shopping when you feel confident, I've decided to share a few of these tips before uploading How to Shop (part 2).
How to be Confident Tip #1
Grab a sheet of poster paper and some markers. Fill the page with positive descriptions of yourself (i.e. funny, smart, good at math, artist). Hang this poster next to your bedroom mirror.
When I turned 20, my mom made a page of 20 reasons she was thankful for me and I kept it in my homework binder for the entire year (did you know we have homework in college??). It made me happy to read through all of them--and a little embarrassed because I wasn't used to so many nice things being said about me all at once! Find a page of paper that will fit in your school binder and ask your mom to write down your age-worth of positive descriptions she has for you. Ask your best friend to do the same!
How to be Confident Tip #2
Learn to power walk. It's simple but might feel weird at first. Start by just standing, feet shoulder width apart, all toes pointing in the same direction (facing something that makes you happy--favorite celebrity poster?) and wildly shake your arms out before dropping them at your side. Stand up as tall as you can. Imagine you're trying to touch your head to the ceiling (don’t stand on your tippy toes!). Put both hands gently on your hips. Now say out loud, “I’m pretty cool.”
Awesome; you're halfway there! Imagine somewhere you want to go and look at it. Not just the other side of the room, find a spot on the wall over there. You’re going to walk there, looking straight at it the entire time. As soon as you start walking, you’re going to drop your hands back at your side and swing them a little as you walk. Remember: head trying to touch the ceiling.
Practice a few times. You'll reach a point where you are comfortable looking around as you walk (enjoying the scenery, waving at friends). When you stop, always have at least one foot pointing in the direction where you are looking. When talking to someone, try to point both toes at them (unless you don't like them, then it is perfectly acceptable to point one toe in the direction of the door). Skill mastered.
How to be Confident Tip #3
Spend time in a happy place. If being outside makes you feel happy, try doing your homework in the backyard or finding time to explore the nearby stream with a friend. If you want to spend time with animals but don't have furry friends at home, maybe an elderly friend of your grandma’s needs her dog walked!
How to be Confident Tip #4
Stop saying negative things. Yeah, I'm talking to you, girl. All those mean things you say/think to yourself: cut them out. They aren't fixing anything or offering helpful advice, so try going three days without thinking anything negative about yourself and see how you feel.
While you're at it, stop saying/thinking negative things about other girls your age. These other young women are like time period sisters, they're part of your generation and are going through most of the same life experiences and changes you are--even the mean ones. They deserve respect as fellow tweens, but they're also just not worth the energy it takes to say something negative.
Learning how to be confident is a process and you won't ace it overnight. I've been working with the above tips for years, and there are a lot of days when I'd much rather pretend I'm a turtle than stand up straight. (Being a turtle would be fun…) And these are just four of probably several hundred ways to practice being confident!
What are some confidence tips you'd like to share? Comment below and I'll see you soon! Bye! ❤
